Say it Sister...
Lucy and Karen, two 40-somethings, are always chatting about life, and all that it has to throw at them, and now want to share their raw, honest conversations with you. Their journey of self-discovery and healing is something many of us can relate to. We all possess a unique power within us, but life’s trials often knock us off course. They have the tools, the courage to speak up and simply say it as it is, so you might feel seen, and understood and gain practical tools and techniques for self-discovery and personal growth during the changes we experience.
Say it Sister...
Goddess Sophia: Embracing Inner Wisdom
Embracing the power of Sophia, the Goddess of Wisdom, this episode encourages listeners to reconnect with their inner guidance and trust their intuitive instincts. Through personal stories and reflections, the hosts share insights on the challenges women face in recognising their wisdom and the journey towards self-discovery.
• Celebrating Goddess Month and the influence of feminine energy
• Discussing the essence of Sophia as a symbol of wisdom
• Emphasising the importance of self-trust and intuition
• Sharing personal experiences of disconnection and reconnection with wisdom
• Exploring motherhood as a transformative experience of wisdom
• Highlighting practical tips for embracing inner wisdom
Use your voice, journal, speak or sing out loud, however you do it we hope you join us in saying it's a stir.
Hello and welcome to the Say it Sister podcast.
Speaker 2:I'm Lucy and I'm Karen, and we're thrilled to have you here. Our paths crossed years ago on a shared journey of self-discovery, and what we found was an unshakable bond and a mutual desire to help others heal and live their very best lives.
Speaker 1:For years, we've had open, honest and courageous conversations, discussions that challenged us, lifted us and sometimes even brought us to tears. We want to share those conversations with you. We believe that by letting you into our world, you might find the courage to use your voice and say what really needs to be said in your own life.
Speaker 2:Whether you're a woman seeking empowerment, a self-improvement enthusiast or someone who craves thought-provoking dialogue, join us, as we promise to bring you real, unfiltered conversations that encourage self-reflection and growth.
Speaker 1:So join us as we explore, question and grow together. It's time to say say it, sister.
Speaker 2:Hello, welcome. We are really excited it's Goddess Month and we're here to talk about the powerful goddesses that have impacted and continue to impact our lives. So today we're here to talk about Sophia, who is the goddess of wisdom. One of our absolutely favourite topics, and one of the things that we want to put forward is that, as women, we often doubt, we even silence, our own innate wisdom. In a world where fact and knowledge and the known is valued, inner wisdom is doubted beyond belief. Actually, and you know it, you have something to say, you've got a feeling, a niggle, something inspiring is coming through, and then doubt can come in and we get into that self-doubt piece, which is extremely deadly, really, I would say, for women. Peace, which is extremely deadly, really, I would say, for women. And when we lose our voices, all of that good stuff gets missed, but it also when we don't listen to our inner wisdom, we are not safe in the world. So we need it to stay safe, but we also need it to thrive, and so let's say yes to our wisdom today.
Speaker 2:Let's go along the journey with Sophia and see what she wants to let us know. The goddess of wisdom will take you on a high level yet deep journey, and from the moment you enter life until the time you surrender to death, you're going to experience high level wisdom from all angles, and so for us, it's really as we think about wisdom, it's that point of actually learning. My voice is starting to go like tight here, so there's clearly some work for me to do personally, but to learn to trust it and even when it doesn't feel like we know it, it's coming through us to know that there is something here that we can tune into that will lead us onto a different pathway. The idea is here that we're going to stretch, to become the feminine is a quest for wisdom, the feminine is part of all women and that all women are goddesses and all women have wisdom. So let's tune into her.
Speaker 2:Let's say a little bit more about who she is. Her origins is Greek mythology. She also shows up in many different ancient civilizations. She is the mother of creation, her assistant was jehovah and she has a sacred shrine in istanbul. She's one of the seven wonders of the world and her symbol is a dove, which I personally love, because I feel like when I see a dove, it reminds me to settle down, to come in and to find that space of inner peace, and I mean there's already so much in that lucy. What does it mean to you right now in your life?
Speaker 1:I'm just smiling just hearing those words, which is like yes, yes, say yes to wisdom, because I feel we all need a high dose of wisdom right now in a world that seems to be constantly in battle. You know, everybody having an opinion and stating it as fact, arguing, and, yeah, there's almost like destruction going on all the way around the world. And so this feeling of yes, let's act a little bit wiser really comes forth for me and I guess I'm in a bit of a philosophical state, which is quite topical, because philo meaning love and sophie or sophia meaning wisdom. So I'm definitely in that state and as you were talking, it just kind of reminded me that in ancient civilizations that we're all from, we're all part of that, we've got those atoms all within us, we're drinking the same water, breathing the same air that our ancient civilizations did and wisdom was prized above all. And although it's been eradicated from history, thankfully we're learning more and you know we're going through archives and on um digs and finding out some of these old manuscripts, but what we're realizing was that, you know, the high priestesses or the, the women, held the very top council and it was a much more um matriarchal or matrilineal society back then and that inner wisdom from women who would have that longer term view.
Speaker 1:We would look at the cycles we would get, gather information from all of our senses and then pass that on as wisdom. And it's not just a female thing, except we tend to find it a little bit easier. You know, all sexes, all genders, can tap into this wisdom. But we need to call it forth because, you know, after living for decades with masculine energy driving everything, I think, yeah, wisdom is often seen as a bit woo woo, a bit a bit spiritual. It's not needed, it's not hard facts, it's all you know. Unless it can be proven, we've got to dismiss it and that is not wisdom. That is, you know, the the space of the fall. Um, and even when you look at the world leaders around, I don't see many wise leaders out there right now and we keep voting them in and that's just foolish. So I guess that's where I am right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's the tangible against the intangible, isn't it? And I think we've all been trained to follow the tangible to, because we all want to have this in a sense. We want to know things and we want to know it's going to be okay, and we want to know the outcomes of things, which the reality and truth is that none of us actually know the outcome of anything. We can set our visions, we can say this is what success is going to look like, feel like we can do all of that. However, until we actually get to that point, we do not really know what the outcome is, and no one wants to admit that. Especially when you go into the world of work, you know it's like these are the outcomes, this is how we're going to grow, these are the you know, this is the revenue streams, this is how we're going to do it, but fundamentally, anything can get wiped out at any point, as we know from how the world is right now that things are insecure and unstable. We've had wars. We get, you know we get snow that stops people going into work. You know things happen that are out of our control, and yet there is this wisdom inside us that is saying it's going to be fine, keep going. You know, speak to that person, connect with this, and it feels intangible because again we're like, well, what, what is that going to actually achieve? But yet, if we follow our wisdom and we follow our deep knowing, we will get led somewhere and perhaps what we create is even better than what we thought about, you know, one year, six months down the line.
Speaker 2:So that's what I want to say about wisdom, and I think the thing I'm most proud about is the fact that I've learned to trust my inner wisdom. But it has taken me so much time and the way that I've learned to trust it has been through tragedy, because it's been the absolute, like worst moments in my life, worst experience in my life, the dark nights, you know, the dark, dark nights of the soul. Where I have gone, I am at rock bottom, I am absolutely flawed, but when I've gone back and done the healing work, there's been so many signs of something that was on the horizon, things that were going to happen, that I didn't trust my instincts and I didn't trust my wisdom and I didn't speak up, you know, and just say I don't, I don't, this isn't right. You know, I need this from you, or I need that from you, or can you take me here because I'm not safe, that kind of thing which I didn't do.
Speaker 2:Um, that taught me, like this, that I have really good body wisdom and I have really great instincts. So the trick has been for me to go. I'm having an instinct, I need to do something and I'm going to do something now and I'm not going to wait and I'm not going to worry about how other people feel, and if they think I'm stupid or overreacting, that's on them so I've got.
Speaker 1:Karen. I'm probably the opposite to you as in I am a person who jumps first. I take that leap If it feels good, I just follow that. And I realise now in my later life you know that I'm now getting some wisdom around my the fact that I have ADHD, which is always about going for the dopamine rush, and I think my wisdom has come because I've jumped into things that I felt right. I've always trusted that inner calling do this, do this. And my wisdom has come because every time I followed that, good things have happened. And yes, there are some awful tragedies where that um has helped me with real shadow work, you know, and seeing my own darkness and taking responsibility for those um, those bad decisions that I've made.
Speaker 1:But equally, I tend to just bounce. I'm a bit like Tigger at times, just bouncing onto the next thing. But the wisdom has come because now I'm forcing myself to slow down because historically what I would always do is just, oh, it doesn't feel right, I'm just going to bounce onto the next thing without really exploring it or learning. And that's the bit that I think is the wisdom of like whatever you encounter, whatever information shows shows up, whether it's from a book, a movie, somebody you meet, something that's happened to you. It's about slowing down and saying what can I take from this? What's the lesson here for me, whereas the tigger, the fool, just says okay, that happened, bounce along. So I much prefer the version of who I am, as in my wise old woman era. Yeah, and.
Speaker 2:I love that and you know I just want to add that I've always been really good at following the good stuff, like I get an instinct and I go, but it was the. It was the more like the negative things. It was more the feeling of being uncomfortable, that I really couldn't be around, and it came at a great consequence. And so I was very wise in some areas and I've got a very old school wisdom inside of me. Yet when it came to um, saying no to somebody and I mean like because you can say no and they can ignore you, but I mean really coming from a place of power and authority that was where I needed to learn to be wise and wiser, because it wasn't that my body was failing. My body was letting me know what I needed to do, but I wasn't acting.
Speaker 2:So it's been like and going through that experience and learning that that lesson late on in life has given me so much power today and you know, it's almost like I feel like I'm more rounded now because I can follow the good stuff, but I can also like stop. Not necessarily sometimes this is going to happen and I know that and I will have no power to stop it, but actually we still have a lot of choice inside. So it's like being more clear with like, when it's a no, it's a clear no, and doing whatever I need to do to step into that wisdom inside me and to activate the no me and to activate the no, yeah.
Speaker 1:so there's also this thing that comes up for me about the world is calling for more wisdom, um, and it's showing up everywhere, and whether it's um, a social media campaign like be kind, um, or the work that we've seen shifted, especially in the leadership space, around having more nurturing, caring, empathetic leaders, it does feel like we are naturally and all coming together at the same time with this desire for more, more wisdom, more Sophia in our lives and holding um ourselves, but others to a higher standard of what it is to be a leader, to be a human.
Speaker 1:And, interestingly, I had a conversation with my dad over Christmas and he is he's one of the most lovely guys ever, but he is a typical masculine energy guy and he has got a scientific engineering brain and I was.
Speaker 1:We were talking about history and things like that, and he would see history in a very, yeah, logical process Well, this war happened and then that happened, and it was almost like it's just on a very direct timeline, whereas I was trying to explain that actually, everything happens in cycles and everything that is is happening now has happened before and we need to go back into the past to capture that wisdom, and it's the same with our own lives, even.
Speaker 1:Um, you know, we will keep getting the same lessons coming up again and again until we tap into our wisdom and say why aren't I learning? Or what is the important piece here that I have to learn? And I think people are really starting to tap into that, whether it's doing yoga or mindfulness. You know, 40 years ago nobody was talking about that stuff and now it actually feels like this almost yeah, the only word is this inner wisdom or this universal wisdom is becoming a bit more mainstream, and that excites me yeah, and it's the world vision, of having this world vision, because it does feel like there's two opposing forces that work.
Speaker 2:You know, we could call it love and fear, and we could call it light and dark, we could call it good and bad. Um, you know, right brain, left brain, you know you get into those polarities and I feel the world is. We are like that because we're human and everything that we do is programmed from a human place. So you've got to take your sides and choose where you want to align yourself with. But when it comes to a place of wisdom, I feel like wisdom is happening inside our bodies, as information inside of us, and it's happening now. It's's live right now, and whilst we can do things, you know, that feel good, that open us up or close us down, again, we've got that choice, haven't we? We are, we do yoga, we do mindfulness, we do meditation because we want to connect to something, we want to feel something on the inside. So we've got people out there that are seeking, that are following, and that is that's a huge progress, because it, as someone who was always into this sort of thing, I was always, like, seen as being slightly um, I don't know how to call it really.
Speaker 2:But it was like, oh gosh, you know, off she goes doing her thing and you know people would say to me like because I had a coach quite early on and I was doing self-development work when I was in my 20s and you know I just loved it. I thought it was just so powerful. It just spoke to me and I was curious and hungry and, um, they'd be like, oh, you obviously need it. That was their sort of vision, you know. Like the world vision at that point in time was, yeah, you do this stuff because you need it to operate.
Speaker 2:I was like I do need it to operate, it fills me up, I feel fantastic when I do it and I need, I do need it, and I wasn't ashamed of it, but it was kind of done from a sort of like shaming place. Yeah, and now the world has evolved and changed on so many levels that you know this is a choice. It's a widespread choice, as we know, and I'm like let's celebrate that because there's been a lot of progress that's happened, you know, over the last sort of 25 years or whatever it's been, um, where people talking about it as well, and it's not from a shameful place and I'm also seeing a real rise and um in kind of fantasy or magical books and tv series, that a lot of these people who are stuck in these um, very black and white, yes, no mindsets about things.
Speaker 1:Well, they tend to hang out in these almost ethereal kind of places, whether it's lord of the rings or watching vikings or game of thrones, where they've got all of this action and whatever. But actually there's quite a lot of um the seers and there's magic and there's gods and goddesses and all these fantasy worlds and thinking okay, you, you know, you need both to be able to exist in this world and, um, it doesn't always have to be in the darkness. You know, I tend to prefer, uh, rainbows and unicorns. That's just my style of things. But you know, um, everybody is searching for that yin yang, that, that that balance within, and that's where the wisdom comes.
Speaker 1:Honestly, yeah, so I'm actually landing it yeah, totally, and I'm just wondering about when, because we both talked about times when we weren't connected and I'm just, I'm curious about when you have been disconnected from your wisdom.
Speaker 2:Oh, and then, how did you?
Speaker 1:reconnect.
Speaker 2:How many times. And that's good. I can proudly say that because I've learned and I'm still learning, I'm still doing this work. It's, you know, it's not like I'm like, oh, here I am and I'm fixed. It's like no, no, no, I am, you know, still working with my wisdom and good days and bad days. But there was a time when I had a long distance relationship with somebody and we had a really good on paper relationship and we had a really intellectual relationship when we came together in the flesh. You know, that sounds really rude. I don't mean it's sound rude but like we're in the same room together.
Speaker 1:Name all Karen.
Speaker 2:When we were in the same room together, it was not good. There was something he did, something like he wasn't. He was being him, but his makeup, his genetics, his chemistry, whatever he was doing triggered me so much on the inside and I used to feel really anxious around him and he was just being him, to be honest. But there was something about him that just didn't work on the inside of me. You know, I was picking up on things, I felt nervous, I was more clumsy. So when we got together I was like I don't know who I am. It was like something was happening, like I was in quite extreme fear and clearly he reminded me of somebody or something you know and I know I'm not going to go into that because I know who that person was and it was. It was meant. It was crazy.
Speaker 2:And we had this long distance relationship for a year. And he came to see me and I was like I just can't do this anymore. And I remember we were driving into my driveway and I saw this dead bird on the floor and the bird it was like and I just I just looked, I saw the bird and I was like, if that's not a signal, I don't know what is, and I just said to him our relationship is dead. Um, it was like and it just came out of me, I didn't think it, I just said it. I was like this doesn't, is never going to work.
Speaker 2:And he looked at me and he went you're right. And that was it. And you know, we said goodbye. He went back to his country. I was in my country, um, but this was like something that was instinctually there for me, but because we had the distance, it went on for a lot longer. Had we have been in the same country, I don't think it would have been a year-long thing, but it was like when I said it, I felt like it was like that everything just lifted off me, you know, like the weight of trying to sort of make something work when it was never going to work, because if you feel like that when you're in somebody's space, clearly that's not a match.
Speaker 1:I I know this to be true about all circumstances in life because, um, when I've gone and viewed houses, you just walk into some properties and just like, oh no, this doesn't feel right and there's no logical reason. You just feel it and then you know you might go to an interview, and then there's just something there that you just think. And I actually remember going to an interview and the room that they took me to they apologized because they were just boxes of literature, because they were about to go and do a big sales campaign and it was all messy and whatever. And I just like I love this environment because if it had been cold and sterile, I I'm not sure how it felt, but I just knew that this was. There was something about the energy of these people in those rooms that I just felt safe and I felt energized.
Speaker 1:But I've also walked into other places and instinctively I'm like I shouldn't be here or this is not right. And I bet all of our listeners have been in a company where they, you know, walked in and they're just like something's off here. And yet when we ignore that, we don't listen to our inner wisdom off here, and yet when we ignore that we don't listen to our inner wisdom, we end up then, you know, drowning in misery, and we just think, under obligation or commitment, we've got to keep going, we've got to keep going, and it destroys us, and isn't?
Speaker 2:it. You're trying to fix something that just doesn't need to be fixed and that and the good news, what what I do want to say is the good thing about this relationship was that for the first time in my life, when I, when that ended, I went I am complete. I do not need anybody to complete me if I never have another relationship with another man in my life. I'm good and I really meant it and I just had this like experience. It's like this opening that happened in my life where I was just so content in myself. I was like, wow, I don't think I've ever felt this fully, like embodied in my whole life.
Speaker 2:So I do feel like sometimes we go through these experiences, you know when we make our mistakes, but fundamentally, if we are open to ourselves on that journey within ourselves, we can actually come full circle, come out of it and realize like that's definitely what I don't want, that that's not what I'm going for, and it gives us something else. So, um, try to not see something as like a mistake. You know just more like, wow, that really didn't work. But look where I ended up. You know what about you tell me about the time you disconnected from your wisdom and what happened so mine's another relationship, one um, and it was one that almost destroyed me.
Speaker 1:And so I'm a I'm a true believer in this seven year cycle and again I'm really starting to tune into the cycles and that's part of my inner wisdom coming through. But we all know about the idea of the seven year itch and it's because, you know, we do tend to grow and develop or go through things in this kind of seven year period. And so in my mid thirties I'd left my marriage and had the rebound relationship and it was somebody who completely love bombed me and I thought perfect match, this is just amazing. And then, very early on, within months, I was getting the signals that something isn't right here. And there was, you know, the possessiveness, jealousy, you know checking my emails asking me what time I was coming back, asking me about why are you wearing that, and it just got worse and worse and worse and really more insidious. And, unfortunately, every time I was able to be, love bombed back into it.
Speaker 1:You know it was narcissistic relationship in that sense, but it took me seven years to get out of it and because each time I didn't trust my wisdom, I didn't trust my gut feeling and it, you know all the way through he'd been cheating on me or he'd been chatting to other women, and I and I just instinctively knew he'd be sat there on his tablet or on his phone and I'm like, and my wisdom would say he's chatting to another woman or he's doing this, that and and the other. And he absolutely was. But I had no evidence. So if I brought it up, he would then use his facts and logic to gaslight me and make me feel ridiculous. And so, yeah, through those seven years, I literally allowed myself to fall victim.
Speaker 1:And then and it was getting towards the end of the seven years, maybe like around the six year mark I was like everything about this is wrong. I don't know who I am anymore, um, and I then started making choices for me. And then I spent the next seven years on this absolute wisdom, goddess quest, reconnecting with who I am and I'm literally. It was um 2017, so I'm now just completed my seven years of what I call recovery, but actually it's this rebirth, and all I ever do now is listen to my inner wisdom, because it would have saved me a hell of a lot of pain, but I also believe that that I had to go through that because of the gifts that it gave me.
Speaker 2:I've got tears in my eyes and in my whole, but I feel really emotional right now and I've got goosebumps running up my arms and I just feel like, as women, you know, we are here, we are relationship holders, we're relationship bearers and carriers. So, of course, if we're talking about our inner wisdom, we're relationship bearers and carriers. So, of course, if we're talking about iron and wisdom, we're talking about relationships. We're talking about, you know, the center of ourselves and in relationship with others. So it feels so perfect in terms of the examples.
Speaker 2:And then I also feel into the struggle and the challenge. That is not easy, you know, and when I think about it, I was thinking about how many women actually get killed by their partners. We have such a bad problem with that at the moment and there are so many women, more women, being killed, and it's normally when women leave a relationship that kind of thing happens. And so my heart is quite impacted by your story because I understand and I can see how these things can so quickly get out of hand. Understand and I can see how these things can so quickly get out of hand. What we want to say to women today is that if you are in a situation like that, you can always, you know, drop us a message or a line and we are here to hear your stories and help in any way that we can. I do want to say that, um, yeah, talk to me a little bit about midlife wisdom, let's move it through well, again, when you start talking about these seven years, we start.
Speaker 1:Obviously, the first seven years of our lives are just pure innocence, aren't they? We play, we imagine we are literally just sponges for this whole world that we exist in. And then we go through various other stages, like the commitment, and then we have to serve others, and the midlife, um, part of that cycle is one which is called surrender, and it's that part which is, I guess, that late 30s into your 40s, where it's actually about personal evaluation. It's about who am I, what, what do I stand for, what do I believe? Are these beliefs mine or have they been put on me? And so I think that's that midlife wisdom where we start questioning, we start searching, we start exploring and then, when we come through that, we tend to go into the cycle of acceptance, of just being like I'm here, I'm in the present, I am not looking at the future, I'm not spending my time with regrets about the past, I'm just being.
Speaker 1:And, interestingly, when I was in my twenties which was the time when I was like um, trying to figure out who I was and that individuation of it all I used to almost be fearful of women in their late 40s and 50s, because they just were present. They had this wisdom and I think now in hindsight there was some envy there that I'd looked at them like how can they've got it together? But there was also this feeling like they'd be able to see straight through me. And now I look at 20 year olds and I'm like, oh, I know exactly what you're going through, or I know you're faking it. So there's that beautifulness about this midlife stage of just surrendering and exploring and questioning and then just being yourself. They say life begins at 40, don't they.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, it's taken me back into my 20s as well because, you know, I had, I had a really high-powered job quite young and I was head of the head of a department and I had a team and stuff.
Speaker 2:And, um, my boss decided he was going to put us all on a self-develop all the top. Like we were all very young, we were a young team. He was going to send us off on a self-development program, um, which was really out there for the time, and one of the modules we studied was self-esteem. And everybody was laughing at me saying you're going to learn about self-esteem, you're the most confident person, and I was a bit like I'm quite confident, but I had a lot of self-doubt, you know, and I felt very much like I'm so young and I've got this position of power and I don't know if I can cope, what if I fail? And I had. So I had a lot of like the imposter syndrome was there was no name for imposter syndrome back then um, I had imposter syndrome but I was managing it really well and I was really good at covering it over. So, um, when I did this self-esteem course and I was crying within the first like 15 minutes of the program, um, literally floods of tears, and I was like I don't know where this is coming from. And it was. It was life-changing for me because I realized how incredibly insecure I was and that everything was built on sand, you know, and I had to do a lot of deep work to really get into who I was, at my core, so that I could have true self-esteem, not pseudo self-esteem or fake self-esteem. And it was amazing and I came out and I said I was like if there was ever a person that needed to do this training, it was me, you know.
Speaker 2:And I was just saying to everybody and they saw a change in me because I softened, I could let people see me more. I wasn't like wearing a mask and I wasn't, you know, pretending to be the tough, hard girl in order so that no one would come near me, and you know. So I was really good at like tough on the outside. But you know me really well, I'm all hard and I'm extremely soft, so that nature. I didn't think I could show that to the world because I thought it would be dangerous for me. I could show that to the world because I thought it would be dangerous for me, whereas now I'm like this is who I am. You know, if I'm too soft for you, that's your issue. So it's that kind of thing and I just, you know, now in midlife I'm probably getting some of the tough stuff's probably coming in now, later on, but it feels rightful and it feels good and it feels powerful and it feels like I am much more discerning now.
Speaker 2:So the wisdom for me has been around discernment. I'll show you my soft centre. I'm not showing you my soft centre. Don't come anywhere near me. You know, like my hands up and I'm like it's a big stop, you don't get to see. Like. You know, I don't mean you, but like that person does not get to see my soft centre, that person gets to see, you know, the strong warrior, so I'm able to play with these things. But I know at my core I'm softer than anything and that's all good.
Speaker 1:I remember when I first met you and I think it was 2012, 2013. And I was full of you know, all that self doubt, walking into the coaching room and I remember seeing you and you were so stylish, you were such a city girl and I was like, wow, this woman is impressive. And then there was this exercise. I can't remember the story behind it, whatever, but the coach had pointed out that you always had your hair over your face, as though you were trying to hide. And then you pushed your hair back and I was like, oh, there she is. And it was like almost like the first time. I was like now I, now I get her, now I see her, and it's such a beautiful feeling and since then you are all heart, you are showing yourself fully, and it's it's beautiful to see you, thank you, my throat's going all like.
Speaker 2:Every time something's happening for me, normally emotion my throat starts to go. I've got a little frog in here. Um, how has your wisdom changed as a mother?
Speaker 1:um, well, for the first thing that comes into my mind is that I am I'm more respectful of the wisdom that my own mother and my own grandmother have experienced and gone through. So in your teens and 20s, you're almost trying to rebel against all of their advice and the way that they want to do things. And my grandmother, my maternal grandmother she was a wise old soul and she'd had 10 children herself and she was born of you know, she was the middle of three sisters, so that female energy was very strong within her and, yeah, she would deliver advice in a really kind and nurturing way, whereas my mum wasn't so much like that. Um, it came across more as judgment and criticism. But then, as soon as I became a mother, I started to understand um, so she may have delivered her advice unskillfully, but I totally got all of that advice that she'd been trying to give me.
Speaker 1:And then now going seeing the stages that my own daughters have gone through, it's helped me with a lot of my own healing, because I realised, oh, this is a developmental stage or this is an external thing. That's happened to my children and it happened to me, and so I can see it through a different set of eyes, a completely different perspective, but I think the ultimate wisdom came through the whole pregnancy piece and then actually through the birthing piece to then feeding, so that really basic human bit. No science or data can take that experience away from me and I literally grew a human being, yeah, and then my body got this human being out of me and you know it was a complete heart, body and mind moment. You know, if you, you give him birth, and it was 23 hour labor. So I had to do this, summon everything within me, um, and all of that again, ancient wisdom that I can do this.
Speaker 1:And then the the whole feeding journey, of thinking I am literally my body, my heart, my mind is giving my child what I need. And it took it down to really simplicity and a simple process of what my motherhood journey is is. I have everything I need within to be able to be the mother to these children and that's how I've practiced it. Yes, you get advised, yes, you might have to google things, but actually it always comes to down to what do I feel is right for me and my girls. So that's how motherhood has changed me.
Speaker 2:It's made me trust myself and my body to be a human yeah, wonderful, and I want to just underline something on that one that all of that I mean this is my experience is actually quite difficult. You know, childbirth is difficult and that's all I'm going to say about mine. Breastfeeding was one of the hardest things I ever did and yet I breastfed my daughter till she was two, because she just didn't want to get off my boob until eventually I was like you know, this is enough now. You know what I mean? Yeah, um, but it was one of the hardest things I had to do because we had problems with that and, yeah, I was determined, but it was also challenging and beautiful and I feel like, as women, we don't have an easy ride.
Speaker 2:You know, we are born into the female gender, the feminine body. We have our own biology, which is incredible, and I'm so honoured by my own biology and at the same time, it's not easy. And it's not an easy ride and yet it's also beautiful. So, you know, it's like I think when I think about femininity and wisdom, I feel like it's holding the space for all of that, because I feel like often we can get into this land of like perfection and dreaminess, and I'm certainly really good at that. You know, I have these dreams and I never see the negative. I only ever see the positive. And then you get into it and you're like oh, actually this is quite hard. Um, yeah, it's wonderful and it grows us and we shift and we change and we have appreciation for ourselves in a different way, because we've lived through something that's profound.
Speaker 1:I think another aspect that came up for me was that I learned to love unconditionally, but the love didn't just happen to my children. I was able to love every child in the world and, um, love the humanity in people, which I don't think I'd really got before being a mother. Um, when you've got, you know the essence of a child in your arms, um, you just see all of its vulnerabilities and its beautifulness. And so I think being, you know, being a mother has taught me how to be the mother of all children. And so to that point I suppose it's even if you don't have children, or you haven't been able to have that children yourself or you choose not to that capacity to love is already within us. Sometimes you just need to go in and find what is the catalyst that's going to let that love out, and for me it was growing human being. But for all of us there is that capacity, and that's that's something that I invite everybody to go and find, because we've got too much hatred For sure.
Speaker 2:For sure. What helps you build trust in your wisdom?
Speaker 1:Knowing that it's never let me down. And again, this is, I think, why I feel midlife, I'm turning into the wise old woman, because I've got a series of almost 50 years to look back on and know that. Do you know what? Every time I've tuned in, every time I've backed myself, every time I've trusted my own inner strength or courage or wisdom, I've been okay. But I don't think I could have done that at 15 or 25, because I just didn't have enough years of knowing that. But some people, you know, they have to grow up very early and they get that wisdom a lot earlier.
Speaker 1:So I absolutely believe that trusting your own inner abilities, your own resourcefulness and creativity, your inner courage, that is where wisdom comes from. Every time, that's how I connect with it. I'm like right, what would I do if I'm being really honest with myself, or truthful or courageous within myself? What would I do? And it's'm like right, what would I do if I'm being really honest with myself, or truthful or courageous within myself? What would I? What would I do? And it's always the right answer. And you feel it in yourselves. You suddenly become invigorated and motivated. It doesn't feel like doom.
Speaker 2:No, it's courage. For me as well, I think it's courage to speak up quickly and act quickly and not sort of go into a place of trying to work things out inside before I speak, because I have this thing I want to make things clear when I speak. But actually if you do that, the moments will pass you by and things will have shifted anyway. You know, if you're in a space with different people and you've got an instinct coming through and if you wait, you can wait a minute longer and it's kind of the conversations moved on somehow and you can always say, oh, actually, can I just bring that back? You can always do that, but you're kind of missing moments, you're missing time, and so for me it's been more to like I'm feeling something, it's of service. You know, it has to be serving something. If it's just an instinct and it's not really serving anything, I might just, I might just think this is something about me. I'm going to work on that later, but I learned that through CTI.
Speaker 2:It's like when you're working in the field of knowledge, the field of wisdom and intuition, you can't see it.
Speaker 2:But there's this field around, you know, and I always see it as a green field and, like you know, you walk into that field and there's so much information there, but you're kind of accessing something that you're feeling on the inside but it's around you, so it already gets quite complicated. However, it's not because as soon as you start to go, you know you're in a group setting, the conversation's dead, everybody's yawning, oh, you know all that's going on and you just think I, I'm bored too. You know, and it's like that point of going, rather than making anyone wrong, it's like there's dullness here, there's no energy here. We need to shift the energy. Let's stand up and move our bodies a little bit and then let's come back and see what we can create from there. Because if you're in a place of like everyone's switched and, you know, numbed out, you're not really going to get the best resolutions, you're not going to get the real, true creativity, you're not even going to enjoy what where you are. What a waste of time. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:and in um, uh, or score, relationship coaching, we, the name we give it is naming the emotional field and so many times, um, the, the group, the team, the system, they're all sitting there with tension or heat or ambivalence or whatever it is, but nobody's naming it because they think they're the only one.
Speaker 1:And it takes the brave, the courageous one to say I'm feeling tension right now and everyone's like, yeah, so am I, do you want to explore it? And it just opens something up, it shifts it as soon as somebody names it, it just shifts it into something else. So I'm yeah, I'm really glad you brought that point up. So I'm going to almost hold you to that and I'm going to see how that flows through our podcast, that how you just name what you're sensing and what you're feeling. We want more of it and I'm really aware that we're at the end of our wisdom episode, um, so before we wrap up, I'd really like to hear one top tip that you could give the listeners um, about a next step that they could take to tap into their Sophia goddess energy.
Speaker 2:I would say put your phone out of the room that you're in, close your eyes, take some deep breaths and just tune into the level of feeling that you have in your body. What are you feeling? Start to dream a little bit, you know, but let the feelings come through first, you know, and let your wisdom rise and just be within that space. I don't think we need to do much more than that, because you will get something, will prompt you or nudge you and then follow that so I was going to say exactly the same.
Speaker 1:so I'll add one more um, and I will say notice the repeats or the cycles, because they are information um that is trying to resurface and teach you something, and they'll keep coming back until you pay attention. So that's just one extra one to add on. So that's our Goddess Sophia episode done. And so we are saying it now. You are wise, you have the answers within you, and the challenge is to listen and use that wisdom. We are human beings, not just human doings. So let's try and rebalance the world by operating from that place of head and heart, from facts and intuition. And, honestly, your life will significantly be improved when you start tapping into your inner wisdom. So, until next time, stay open and stay wise. So thanks for listening and we can't wait to welcome you next time.
Speaker 2:Until then, use your voice, journal, speak or sing out loud, However you do it we hope you join us in saying it's a stir.