Say it Sister...
Lucy and Karen, two 40-somethings, are always chatting about life, and all that it has to throw at them, and now want to share their raw, honest conversations with you. Their journey of self-discovery and healing is something many of us can relate to. We all possess a unique power within us, but life’s trials often knock us off course. They have the tools, the courage to speak up and simply say it as it is, so you might feel seen, and understood and gain practical tools and techniques for self-discovery and personal growth during the changes we experience.
Say it Sister...
International Women's Day, Let's Speak Up for Equality
Today, we dive deep into the discussions of empowerment and equality as we celebrate International Women's Day. We explore our journeys and the importance of sharing our stories to inspire others.
• Our paths crossed through self-discovery and a shared desire to empower women
• The significance of International Women's Day and its themes
• Statistics highlighting the stark realities of gender parity
• Acknowledgment of historical women who inspire us today
• Discussing the challenges women still face, including discrimination and violence
• The crucial call to action for women to use their voices and unite for change
Don't forget to join us next time!
Hello and welcome to the Say it Sister podcast.
Speaker 2:I'm Lucy and I'm Karen, and we're thrilled to have you here. Our paths crossed years ago on a shared journey of self-discovery, and what we found was an unshakable bond and a mutual desire to help others heal and live their very best lives.
Speaker 1:For years, we've had open, honest and courageous conversations, discussions that challenged us, lifted us and sometimes even brought us to tears. We want to share those conversations with you. We believe that by letting you into our world, you might find the courage to use your voice and say what really needs to be said in your own life.
Speaker 2:Whether you're a woman seeking empowerment, a self-improvement enthusiast or someone who craves thought-provoking dialogue, join us, as we promise to bring you real, unfiltered conversations that encourage self-reflection and growth.
Speaker 1:So join us as we explore, question and grow together. It's time to say say it, sister, hey, hey, hey. Sisters, it's the international women's day episode for 2025 and it was supposed to be a one episode thing, but as Karen and I got talking well, we couldn't shut up. So this is part one of a hour and a bit conversation, and don't forget to tune in for part two. Here we go.
Speaker 2:Welcome. It's International Women's Day and we're uniting on this day and every other day to empower and be with each other, because this is something we are here to do. This year's UN theme for all women and girls is rights, equality, empowerment. We all call for action that can unlock equal rights, power and opportunities for all and a feminist future where no one is left behind. Central to this vision is empowering the next generation, youth, particularly young women and adolescent girls, as catalysts for lasting change, because they are our future. It's the 30th anniversary of the Beijing Declaration and Platform for Action, which was adopted by 189 governments and remains the most progressive and widely endorsed blueprint for women and girls' rights for women and girls around the world.
Speaker 2:I've got goosebumps running all the way up my arms and my heart is pounding as I'm reading this. Yet and here is the big but at the current rate of progress, it will take until 2158, which is roughly five generations from now, to reach full gender parity across the data from the world economic forum. I'm not okay with this. I'm a historian. I studied the suffragettes at university. Women have fought hard for our freedom, the freedom that we have today, and I'm also a mother. So we must align more now than ever before. This is leveling up time. When I think about google deleting women's history month, the goosebumps on my arms are now starting to get alive.
Speaker 2:I am getting very angry as I'm reading this. I want to say that we are going to stay and we are going to say equality for women loud and proud. We are not going to dive into a world where women's rights have been forgotten. We need to stand together as sisters all around the world and use our own lens. Here in the UK, we want to be free from discrimination and violence, to be educated and to earn an equal wage and remove misogyny in the healthcare systems and all the systems where we are part of. Lucy, please add.
Speaker 1:Oh, there's no doubt we need to take action. I feel it rising within me and, strangely, international Women's Day always gives me even more courage to speak up. It's almost like here you go, this is your day, where you can you know, every woman can share your experience, listen, learn, and it's almost like the most feminine way, isn't it? That when we get together, we talk, we share and, I guess, in since I've discovered International Women's Day, that's where I found a lot of my information from and where I've learned, and it was always pretty much a safe space. But over recent years it's not so safe anymore, even on International Women's Day. But we'll unpack that a little bit later.
Speaker 1:But you know, let's face it, you and I we're two middle-aged women who have lived in pretty much a legally equal world. Right here in the UK, there's not many rights legal rights that women don't have. Yet the reality is, you and I, we've never been equal, have we? And you know, we have literally experienced the misogyny ourselves, whether that's sexual violence, whether it's the witness of the far right, you know, trying to control our lives, our bodies, to silence and isolate women, and so we had to speak up. That's why this podcast exists, uh, because, let's face it, that the issues women are facing today are hugely important. It impacts our lives, our careers, um, and absolutely. We need to show that solidarity and power, oh gosh I've got now.
Speaker 2:My legs are shaking, then I'm gonna having a whole body kind of experience over here. We need to talk up International Women's Day like never before, because we are here to add our voices and energy to support women, and it's our life's purpose. I feel like this has been my purpose through all my life. But this life I am owning it and I'm going to take every single opportunity. Life, I am owning it and I'm going to take every single opportunity and so are you I know you are Lucy to rise and to raise this platform and then to step on the platform. We are optimists. We want to put our energy into supporting and role modeling change to taking up space, to being loud, just to not apologizing for who we are, rather than tearing things down or smashing in a violent way yeah, as you can tell, we're we're both really fired up and we're both really passionate.
Speaker 1:Um, we are women, we are mothers, we are daughters, we are all women of the world. So let's get into it, um. So let's talk about, um, our views on international women's. So tell me, karen, what does it mean to you?
Speaker 2:Celebration of women and womanhood. It's always meant that to me and I always got very confused when I heard people saying, like women saying we don't need it, we don't need it. It's a little bit like saying, just put the right person in the job for the board, you know, doesn't need to be a woman or no, don't need that training. Thank you very much. I don't agree with any of that. Personally, I'm like you do need the training. We do need women in these roles. We do need to make change and it has to start, you know. I mean, it started already, let's. Let's be truthful about that. There has been a lot of change, but we're still so far ahead. So for me, I'm always like, if this is a day for women, let's celebrate that, because I can tell you know, if that day gets taken away, it's going to be a missed opportunity. And yes, we should be celebrating women every single day, you know, and fighting for justice every single day. Like, don't get me wrong, I'm not getting like complacent over here. However, if we've got a day for us, then we own that day and we tell the world what we want to say. So that's where I come from and when I think about this, you know, five generations away for gender parity. I just can't get my head around it, to be honest, because I felt like we were further ahead in some ways than what we actually are. And get my head around it, to be honest, because I felt like we were further ahead in some ways than what we actually are. And I've had been complacent in the past because I was like, well, I'm doing okay and my career's working and you know, I feel relatively free. But then things that happened to me where I realized that actually, sometimes I'm free, sometimes I'm not, sometimes I'm safe, sometimes I'm not um, that sort of changed me on a deep level, you know, in terms of, like sexual, sexual assault and doing deep work, and then realizing how many times I'd had experiences that were really really wholly negative. Um, so, yeah, it takes me into a deep place.
Speaker 2:I am very scared of the backlash that's happening right now towards women and girls, especially because I'm my daughter and I feel like this, while this has always been the case, you know, there's always been violence against women and when we go through some of this, as we go through the journey, we'll see that, um, we still have to demand to be treated with equal respect. Um, we have to. You know, use our voices to call things out, to speak truthfully, and you know, I keep seeing around the internet that there's this idea of you know, when you are in a position of privilege, anything that challenges the status quo feels like a threat. So, you know, two women on the board feels like a threat because they were. They were men before, and so anyone who isn't in alignment with balance equality is going to feel like someone's coming for them.
Speaker 2:You know, in the Me Too movement, I suppose, has put a lot of fear into a lot of people. So I then come back into. You know, we have to obstruct, we have to fight harder and we have to reset, but doing it from a deeper, more balanced place within ourselves, because the anger I feel in my body is present. More balanced place within ourselves because the anger I feel in my body is present. And yet I know, after this call, I'll release that safely and I'll come back into my heart again and then I'll go back into my day. Doesn't mean that you know I'm not. It doesn't mean that I'm going to stay quiet. It just means that when I do speak up, I speak from a different place so that people will actually hear what I'm saying. And I feel that this is really, really important and I think we all need to do this work, and that includes men, and it is about aligning back with men with purpose and dignity. However, we have to call out the negatives too. What's coming up for you?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm hopeful, I'm optimistic, I see change happening and I, like you, have lived in world where, legally, um, there was nothing stopping us and there were women in the workplace. Um, and just to also say that I don't blame those men who hold those positions. It's not their fault, I don't want to rob them of their positions. I just want to make more space so that more people who are diverse can take up some of those spaces. So it's it's about welcoming other people, you know, making your table bigger rather than blocking people out and barricading the door. So, absolutely, this is not about manhating we. We don't blame the men who hold those positions. You're good people but it's just about inviting and including.
Speaker 1:And so, like I said, I actually find more courage on this day, because I know that it's a bit like, let's say, valentine's Day. We were talking about that. One, it's a day where people can be romantic. You know, people are making these huge declarations. One, it's a day where people can be romantic. You know, the the people are making these huge declarations. It's a day of focus, and this is a day of focus for women to talk about women's issues, that, whether it's the small microaggressions or really horrendous things that people have faced, there's space for all of it and to actively listen. And also, I have learned so much through women sharing um and I think a lot of it started with around the me too movement and through international women's day, where we allowed those voices to come forward. I learned so much and I also learned that I actually do have loads of privileges. You know, let's face it, we are both white women of a certain age. We were both educated, born in Britain and lived a relatively new middle class kind of life. So we are already in that top percentage of women anyway, just because of where we were born and who we were born to women anyway, just because of where we were born and who we were born to um. But that also makes me rage even more that, even though I have all these privileges, the lack of rights for women, the blatant misogyny that we've both faced, and then we look around the world at a total gender apartheid in our world it's it's almost like going back a couple of hundred years and that's what. What we've got to.
Speaker 1:It is the word fight, but it's not fighting in the way that men fight. It's fighting smarter, fast, fighting more strategically, and then, you know, just watching the news, and this is what happens on International Women's Day, people share more. So look out for those posts and those talks about you know, the girls now have been allowed to marry at nine years old. You know, marrying children. You know, if it was women allowed to marry nine year old boys, I think people be get a little bit upset. Um, and I think you know, don't learn about female genital mutilation, you know, which is literally just making women baby making machines, not for pleasure, not for any other purpose, and it is like taking away one of our most fundamental parts of ourselves, our clitoris.
Speaker 1:It's about, you know, looking at those stories about, you know, women unable to seek refuge because the journey actually on that refugee trail is too dangerous, because they will be kidnapped, they will be raped, they will be put into slavery or trafficked.
Speaker 1:So, yes, we are here in our privilege and if you're looking on LinkedIn and things like that, it'll be all very nice and whitewashed, but still go and get that information and I'm going to give you a few stats here as to why, especially if you're listening in the UK, this is really important.
Speaker 1:So a few stats A man kills a woman every three days in the UK, and half of those killers are men who were intimate partners. One in four women have been raped or sexually assaulted since the age of 16, and one in six children. Yet only 2.7% of those meanest crimes actually reach criminal charges. So that's less than three in every 100 rapes end up in somebody actually being charged not convicted, just charged. And then when you look at another horrendous stat that 91% of all of those prosecuted are men 91% of all of those prosecuted are men and every single time somebody speaks up or somebody goes to the police, or somebody writes an article or shares their story, it's an act of courage, and so I actually want to take us on a journey where we now just go and celebrate some of those women, those women that inspire us, and probably some of the household names you know that we can hold on to. So go on, karen. I've been heavy, we've been deep, so let's do a bit of celebrating.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I can sashay into that just yet. I'm still in the other piece. I'm like sitting here, like you know, when you're silent, you're listening and you're like my blood is boiling, like literally boiling. So give me a little bit permission to just comment back. I feel disgusted.
Speaker 2:I feel I know the reasons why women don't report. It's because the system is not supportive of women, understanding of women, and is actually set up to make it worse for her on so many different levels. And the idea of going in and then being being questioned repeatedly about over something that was deeply traumatic is not in service to any woman. Neither of us reported ours, did we? Neither of us reported and I I had so many reasons not to report mine, like there was, you know, it was just impossible. It felt impossible for me to go in.
Speaker 2:And you know, for me, like I went into therapy and was working through things with a therapist because I was so angry and shocked that I had to do that work before I could go to the police, I knew that I had to take care of my own needs first, you know. So I was kind of questioning all of that. Do I want to take care of my own needs first. You know so. So I was kind of questioning all of that, do I want to? What's my? You know, I didn't just say I'm not going to report, I'm not going to go to the police. I was like I need to get some therapy to see if that's what I'm going to do um.
Speaker 2:So it was a real long, drawn-out process, but then life took over for me, literally life took over.
Speaker 2:You know, when I got pregnant, um, with daughter which was, you know, six months later or something, it just meant that, you know, for me it was like I have something else inside me that really needs my positivity, my love, and I can't do anything until she's been born, you know.
Speaker 2:And then it was so far down the line and everybody was saying to me I really don't think it's going to help you. You know, I really and this is like experts, you know cause I was doing my research, I spoke to some police officers and all of that who I knew personally and they were like the system's a lot better, but it's really, really brutal, you know, it's so when I looked at my little baby next to me and I just thought it's just I can't. You know, had I have been seeing, there's a big, strong chance that I could have gone down that road. But I looked at my baby, I looked at the little gorgeousness and the hope in her eyes and I just was like this is not for me now, but we also both chose to use the pain and the assault as a way of doing good in the world.
Speaker 1:So, don't you know, for those who do come forward, and especially if it's to stop a predator, yes, but I totally also stand by every woman that decides not to do that but then speaks up and just like we've done, you know, and we continue to do, through this podcast and our work, we talk about the stats, we talk about the issues, we talk about empowering women and how to heal and to, to you know, heal the wound so that it doesn't get passed on to the next generation. So, um, it's yeah. For me it was real, really challenging, because we're here saying you know, these people aren't being prosecuted, but then neither of us did either.
Speaker 2:So I think it's about being honest about that, absolutely, and I feel like the more we talk about it, the more we, um, we normalize that it's okay to talk about it, because when I certainly when it happened to me, it was, you know, like nobody wanted to be near me, no one wanted to talk about it, and that's why I also did the therapeutic route, which helped me no end. So it was it's almost, and when I would do posts about it on my social media channels, I would lose followers, um, you know. So I was like I was being given a very clear message back from society that was saying you don't talk about this stuff, this isn't, this isn't something to be discussed. You kind of hide away with it, you sweep it under the rug and you stay silent.
Speaker 1:So yeah, we've been doing that since we had our first period.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and but I don't. I do feel that if we're talking about change here, this is changing, this has changed, and it's a huge thing actually for women and for us to sort of sit here and talk about it openly. You know, we're not naming people's names because that's not the road that we've taken. Those people have to deal with themselves. That's the way I see it, um, and but for me it's like certainly not something that I am prepared to stay quiet about, and I have everybody you know close to everybody. I've had conversations with all the key people in my life. I've also had a lot of beautiful people who've supported me, but but it's been less on that side, and I'm OK with that because I'm a strong woman myself and I know who to go to, and it has made me more powerful, more determined, and I don't think this podcast would have happened had we both.
Speaker 1:So I want to interrupt you there and just say we're talking about inspiring women. I actually put you down as one of my inspiring women, so I just want to appreciate you because everything you've just said there inspires me. It makes me believe that the world is healing and we can do amazing work, um, by tuning into the supporters, the healers, the, the people who have got the courage to just talk about it without shame and just say this shame is not mine. Um. So just want to appreciate you there for a second.
Speaker 2:And you inspire me every day thank you and and you're on my list too, of course, otherwise I wouldn't be here, um, doing this work with you, and I feel, like you know, it's great when women come together and we can, in a way. This is going to sound strange, but there's a complete that we kind of complete each other and we have this sort of ability to be able to have different viewpoints, different experiences, and yet there's a wholeness in the work and when we work together, like you're thinking something, I'm thinking something, and we're both on the same page, but we approach it differently. And that is amazing for me, because I get to work with another strong, independent woman who is just, um, channeling amazing work, but doing it your style, I've got my style, and then I think, together we speak to different women, and so it's almost like, oh, I don't really, I'm not resonating with what that piece, but I'm really resonating with what Lucy said over there. So we're bringing more people on the journey with us, because we are all individuals and yet we are connected to a world that operates in a very similar way, and so we don't have to agree with everything, but it's like those alignment pieces that need to be strong enough for us to say, yeah, let's get, I can get on board with that. Let's, let's get, I can get on board with that, let's, let's do something about it. But thank you for being my. You know, one of my ride or dies.
Speaker 2:I would say, um, I've got a couple of women, um, two women that I work with in the corporate world. There's Patricia Corsi, who's been on on our podcast, who is the founder of Good Latinas for Good. She is just a fire starter. She literally goes into places and creates change, but she does it from a real heart and purposeful seat. So I love that about her. I also love that in her last role, she took on an IT role. She was like head of IT alongside head of marketing, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't know much about IT and yet she took the seat. And I was so inspired when she took that role because I just thought she knows that the team underneath her are going to make whatever needs to happen happen. She doesn't need to understand it all, yet she's taking the seat because what she knows about bringing people together and purpose and heart-centered leadership is phenomenal. So the people that work for her will fully, you know, get on board with her and I feel like, as leaders, sometimes it's like we don't need to understand everything.
Speaker 2:We just need to know that we've got enough in us to be able to galvanize and lead people forward, with some touch points, of course. But that's why we hire great people, you know. That's why we work with great people, because they know they know how to do the. You know the actual delivery work that we might not know. Um, that is the true essence of leadership. For me, it's like you get the right people around you and you and you have what you bring and you can. You can set the world on fire in the right way.
Speaker 1:I have to just interject there because, um, when I took my first what I call leadership role, um, I was handing it over from um somebody who was leaving the business and they were showing me all these spreadsheets that I would need to run and, um, and this report that I'd have to do, and I just said, yeah, by all means show me, but I will never be doing this. And they were were like but that's your job? I said, no, I have people in my team who love data and love reports. That's what they will do. My job is to lead the team, and it was. I think that was why she was actually exiting the team, because she just didn't get it. She had to manage. That's what I also teach a lot of the leaders that I work with your job is not to do. Your job is to bring together, to think, to create space, to connect, to bring out the best in others.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, just came into my memory, yeah, and to use our instincts, because the thing is, we can sit in our heads for a long well, forever, really. I mean, most of us do sit in our heads, you know, for a long time. That's just being human, um, you know, and you're working things out, but you're working it out from almost like the old way, the way that you've done it before, which can be often defunct, especially as the world is moving so fast. So we need to be able to tune into our instincts and intuition and go that.
Speaker 2:That worked that time, but it doesn't no longer fit. So what are we going to do about that? Let's get creative, and let's because we can. When we're in our creative state, we can make anything. You know, we know that I mean, it's just the things. If you look at technology actually it feels actually impossible, like you're working in the field of magic in some of the different levels. How on earth does it all work?
Speaker 1:But it just doesn't understand how a machine works, and we don't even have them anymore.
Speaker 2:When you think about like phones are connected to space, to satellites in space, it's wild. So you know, if we can do that, we can do anything. So that's kind of you know where I go with that one. And then the other woman is a woman called Amalia Kondomidatidou, and she is Greek and I hope I pronounced that right, and she is somebody that I've worked with for many years and again she is somebody that looks at what's going on. She looks at systems and she just can see where they're broken, where they're defunct and then she knows how to.
Speaker 2:You know she calls herself like. She's almost like the general, you know she mobilizes things around her and then she'll start like getting different results or she just sees things. It's incredible to work with her as her coach and you know she has got the biggest heart and she just makes some changes. She will go. That's not right. And she finds ways to make these changes that are so inspiring and then puts the right people in place. It's like different parts of jigsaw puzzles that come together. But it's her vision and her intuition and her instincts that almost like the, the flaws and the faults. They're not getting past her and she fights for perfection in like, in a way that gets things done, is what I want to say. I mean, it's not like the everything has to be perfect in its perfect place. It's not that, but she is just this archetype of change, I would say and deep knowing. So working with her is is just a joy, because I get to sort of feel hope when I work with her every single time. And then one more Frida Kahlo is one of my absolute favorite, favorite, favorite ever artists, and I have things of her all around my home to inspire me because she is a woman that was a feminist, you know, that fought for women's rights. She had this beautiful, you know, fought for women's rights. She had this beautiful, you know, creative way of expressing herself. It's the flowers, it's the colors. But also she had a lot of disabilities and it was very painful for her to paint, um and use her hands and but she dedicated her whole life to creating art, art that would inspire, art that would celebrate, you know, traditional women, you know, in their traditional outfits and things. So that, for me, really inspired me because it was like, you know it's.
Speaker 2:How easy is it for us to say I can't do that, I can't do that, I have this disability, I won't do that now. And we stopped doing the things that we love and have passion for, and, you know, to then overcome that and to continue to work and to continue to create, um, I feel is incredibly inspiring, because life is pain as well and we have to learn to be with a level of pain to and to still create and to still say wait, okay, I, yes, I've experienced pain emotional, physical, you know pain but I'm not going to stop doing the things that I love. I'm going to pick up that paintbrush and I'm going to continue. Do you know what I mean? It's that energy. For me, that is just like. What about you?
Speaker 1:Oh, I've got a huge list so I won't go into all of the stories but I encourage the listeners to go Google them, go wiki them. But I wrote a book five, six years ago called Leader X and in it I spoke about who my role models were in the eighties growing up and how I took a little bit from all of them. So knowing that Mother Teresa was literally all about giving. She was one of the most famous women in the world and, yes, there's been some controversy against her, but actually her world's work was all about being in service. And then we had Madonna, who was the top of the charts, who literally broke every mould and was called the most heinous names. Her character was, you know, ripped apart and I loved her even more for it.
Speaker 1:Then we had, of course, maggie Thatcher, who was in Parliament throughout my childhood and again, there's a lot of controversy around her, but she was a woman, the first female prime minister, who fought against so much misogyny to hold that space. And then, of course, the queen who, again, you know, had to deal with the normal woman's journey in the sense of coming into the world, dealing with grief, taking position, understanding the roles within relationships, then having children and then being that mother who's having to deal with divorces and scandals of your children as their walls fall apart, to get to this stage where she was the world's grandmother. She was so wise and has so much discernment a true role model. You know the perfect crone, I guess. But then what I also think about as I've become a woman of the world, what I also think about as I've become a woman of the world, just some of the amazing women that I have spotted and just thought wow, you have so much courage.
Speaker 1:And so Emmeline Pankhurst, and every single one of those suffragettes. I think I learned about them when I was probably nine, ten years old and I was just in awe that they would literally put their life on the line for something they truly believed in. And then Gloria Steinman, you know the mother of feminism um, just wrote so much sense and challenged and again was hated, um by some, adored by many others. Maya Angelou you know her words, her art, her art still lands and she had been through incredible pain, but still she rose. Ruth Bader Ginsburg, or Oprah she was another one who was always on my TV.
Speaker 1:And then, more recently, I guess some of the younger listeners might know, of Sheryl Sandberg, malala and my kids. It's all about Taylor Swift and Emily Watson, serena Williams, Michelle Obama you know, all of these women are just incredible, inspiring women and I learn from them every day. And I have to say one of my favorites right now well, the last couple, couple of years um is alexandria orcasio-cortez, and so if you want to see what a powerful woman going against the patriarchal system, especially in the states, go follow her on social media. She is phenomenal, um. But yeah, literally just go google inspiring feminists or inspiring women or inspiring scientists and your whole world will open up yeah, and remember that.
Speaker 2:You know, by watching these women, it connects into a part of you and you'll have your own unique take and your own unique flair. You don't have to be screaming and, you know, shouting walking down the streets. You may have a different approach and different way of doing it, and but as long as we are all doing our small steps towards empowerment, towards equality, then I feel like that's going to be really powerful, no matter how you show up so we're going to take a pause there um of our long conversation.
Speaker 1:this seems like a perfect place to end it. Hope you've been inspired and are ready to start celebrating your International Women's Day, but don't forget to tune in to part two of our conversation. See you soon. So thanks for listening and we can't wait to welcome you next time.
Speaker 2:Until then, use your voice journal, speak or sing out loud. However you do it. We hope you join us in.
Speaker 1:Saying it Sister.