Resilience, Not Relentless

We explore what resilience really looks like in messy, modern life—less grinding, more honest listening, seasonal rest, and community care. Through stories of early motherhood, divorce, and invited chaos (hello, puppy), we share practices that turn overwhelm into steady action.

• redefining resilience as truth plus time, not pushing through
• using rest, naps and pauses to reset energy
• human design frames for reactivity and discernment
• body-led decisions and tracking personal cycles
• rituals, nature and Akashic practice for regulation
• community as co‑regulation and safe processing
• joy hunting, gratitude and abundance mindset
• practical steps after crisis, small actions that compound
• collective coherence, HeartMath and the ripple of calm
• everyday energy hygiene before entering shared spaces

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Chapters

• 0:00 Setting the Space and Theme
• 0:38 Naming Exhaustion and The Pause
• 2:43 Rest, Renewal and Creating from Abundance
• 4:54 Change, Chaos and the Puppy Decision
• 5:56 Resilience Defined: Meeting Challenge with Meaning
• 7:47 Reactivity, Discernment and Body Wisdom
• 8:43 Human Design: Generator vs Projector
• 10:23 Resilience as Human Inheritance
• 11:32 Comfort, Boredom and Creative Drive
• 12:48 Gut Checks, Energy and Daily Practices
• 14:37 Cycles, Overwhelm and Rest Windows
• 16:01 Rituals, Akashic Practice and Regulation
• 18:13 Community, Safe Spaces and Simple Grounding
• 19:39 Chaos to Growth: Motherhood Power
• 22:04 Divorce, Loneliness and Rebuilding
• 24:07 Practical Steps for Reclaiming Strength
• 26:00 Joy Hunting, Gratitude and Abundance
• 28:08 Collective Coherence: Maharishi Effect
• 30:03 HeartMath, Leadership and Energy Hygiene
• 32:05 Everyday Experiments with Your Energy
• 33:03 Closing Reflections and Invitation

Transcript

Speaker: 0:00

Welcome to another episode of Say it sister Podcast.

Speaker 1: 0:04

Brought to you by Wise Women Lead Founders Lucy Barkas and Karen Heras-Kelly. This is your space for real unfiltered conversations about womanhood. The messy, the magical and everything in between.

Speaker: 0:16

We're called upon to name the taboos, stigmas, stereotypes, and lies that keep us stuck so that we can rise and reign like queens.

Speaker 1: 0:25

We open up spaces and deepen relationships that bring us closer to love and a better world for all. So get comfy, grab your favourite drink, and let's say it's sister. Welcome to today's conversation on building resilience through chaotic times, and let's face it, we've got a lot of them. As I entered the weekend after a manic two weeks, um, the period between the two eclipses, it was intense, and I noticed it everywhere outside and inside of me. I felt the tiredness wave over me physically, emotionally, and mentally. I also knew exactly what was needed in the days ahead. I needed to release all of that and everything I've been carrying and create a complete switch of pace, attention, and energy. And as women, our wisdom and empathy are being stretched more than ever. We are carrying responsibilities in our homes, our workplaces, and our communities, often while navigating personal challenges. We carry a lot. It's a shared experience. We all want to voice our experiences, speak to resilience, perseverance, and the rest, we all need to keep going. And I'm going to introduce Karen because actually you went kind of like a day before me, and we had the conversation about cancelling a scheduled meeting because you were exhausted. So how are you now?

Speaker: 1:51

Well, I'm much better now because I took some time to rest. I feel I realize that coming out of summer and then going straight into, you know, back to school for my daughter, and then into, you know, trying to get into some sort of new routine was actually a lot in itself. And I was just really quite feeling quite burnt out in a way and wondering if I was actually burnt out. And that idea of you know, the pause, which everybody talks about, and it seems like the word of the moment, actually taking space for that was vital. And I was amazed at myself because the next day I was literally like, oh, I've got loads of energy, what's happening? You know, and and even I, I'm 49, I'm still very skeptical when it comes to the idea of taking time out to reset. Um, but I absolutely have to do it. And when I do it, I'm like, what was all the fuss about? Like, nobody died, nothing um went tits up, everything was good, you know, and everything was still waiting for me the next day. And but I did it from a new, renewed place because I I don't want to be creating from a place of lack if I'm doing it. I want to be feeling like I've got space and I'm abundant and my creativity's there. And if I can't access that, I can go for quite a long time anyway. You know, I've got a I've got a high threshold within me, but it doesn't feel nice. And I want to feel good inside my own body. So that's really where I tend to go back to. But all of the conversations that I was having was around wobbles, you know, and that wasn't just the physical term, but around this idea of feeling quite wobbly, change, you know, change is here, um, the world is unsettling. What are we um what are we feeling at the moment? You know, people are seeing things, they're hearing things, and the political landscape is boiling, and so are we. So, personally speaking, I have found myself in this place of trying to work things out, feeling quite confused, getting through the other side, and now I'm ready to make big and bold steps. And I'm laughing because this is very me, you know. Like I get to a point where I'm like, it's not working, what big thing can I do? And so we bought a puppy.

Speaker 1: 4:02

And and I love that. And the image you send me is adorable, and he is gonna give you so much joy.

Speaker: 4:08

He is gorgeous, and you know, I've wanted a dog all my life. I've waited this long. So it's not like I've not, it wasn't like a wild decision, it was a really conscious decision. But we just thought, you know what? If not now, when? And we're getting older. And I like I said to my friend the other day, I was like, if I don't get a dog soon, I'm gonna be too old. I'm not gonna be able to like take, you know what I mean? I want to be active, I want to be out walking. Um, that's a slight joke, you know what I mean? Um, I'm not gonna be too old, but there's a feeling for me of like this is the time, and let's throw some more chaos into the family dynamic, let's throw something that's gonna make us change, get us back out into nature a little bit more, and let's embrace the madness of having like a little fairy baby in the house.

Speaker 1: 4:50

Uh, I've never regretted getting any of my dogs, and I'm I just can't wait for you. I'm just too excited. And honestly, when you um are going through those early puppy days, you're gonna need some resilience in the bucketful. Um, because you know they're they're little babies and they've been taken away from their mummies, and they they want your love and your support and your comfort, and uh, and yeah, you it's it's a lot in those early days. So I just wanted to um say yay for you and your whole family, but also just remind yourself that it is going to be chaotic. Um, but once you come through that early period, it is just fabulous. And so I just want to ask, what does resilience mean to you and how might you bring it into your your puppy days?

Speaker: 5:37

Oh well, it's for me, resilience is like facing the challenge head on and being like, this is something that's happening, and I'm not going to ignore it, and I'm gonna take my time and I'm gonna commit to whatever it is, like what is the meaning of this challenge for me? What is it bringing into my life? And where do I need to go and heal? You know, because it's not all like, ooh, I've got a challenge and um what a great opportunity. Like, I don't think any of us face our big challenges, our dark nights of the soul experiences looking like that. I think we all go, oh my god, you know, take it's almost like the breath kind of comes out of our chest, and we, you know, we we get a bit, it gets a bit, you know, short and tight in the body. And um so for me, it's like looking at it and going, This was designed for me. It's not easy, I will heal through the journey of it and I will take my time and I will keep going, and and that for me is true resilience. And I realize that I can handle a lot of stress, and the traumas that I've experienced have made me very resilient. I'm also quite highly reactive, and I need to be really mindful of my need for almost like excitement and change. There's a part of me that's like chase it, chase it, you know, like go out there and create, and I'm just trying to sort of be mindful of it all now. And what is the real need that I'm experiencing? You know, how can I do this and be kind to myself? And how do I balance it all and know what is the wise next move? And taking time to sort of discern that because I think when I'm out in that high-reactive place, I'm not always truly in touch with my wisdom. And so this is the thing, you know, I want almost like less of the drama, but as I know that I'm constantly changing anyway, my body's changing every day. Um, I'm always in a change cycle because that's life, and so just trusting that I can handle whatever's been given to me, even though my brain wants to say that I can't handle anymore. And it's just like managing all of that, yeah.

Speaker 1: 7:47

So, you know, we did our human design, and you came out as um a generator uh or manifesting generator, and just know that your style is to react. So rather than um refusing the reaction, just know that actually your kind of style is that when things happen, we need people like you to react and get stuff done to move us along. Um, but again, it's that discernment of you know, uh right, this is exhausting me, or I need to just rest and before I take on the next challenge.

Speaker: 8:19

Whereas I'm also how much is too much? Yeah, the body knows how much is too much because it will tell us how much is too much. And I've just put you off there, so we're gonna bring you back in. But it is that absolute piece of going, there's a lot of work in it, what I've just described, but actually my body knows how much is too much. And when I listen to my body, I'm not out of whack, I'm actually in tune. And that is the bit that I want to sort of bring back in and over to you.

Speaker 1: 8:43

Yeah, well, I was just gonna say I was uh I'm a uh a projector in my profile, which means that I actually almost take a step back and don't react, and I try and join up all of the dots and hear all of the opinions and read more and take in more and just see it, and that in itself is overwhelming and can take me to burnout quite quickly because there's just so much I'm holding in my head, and what I need to be able to do is to sit down and to have that rest just so that I can almost organise my thoughts and and see where my energy needs to go. And so, just to speak of um my definition of resilience, it's the ability to pick yourself back up after a setback, yeah, and you know, it's like that bouncy ball. Um sometimes the you know the energy goes and it just bounces a little bit, but it's still bouncing, and I think that's the important thing to remember. And because I'm you know a social scientist and I'm really interested in humans and why we do what we do, I want that reassurance for everyone that everybody is resilient because it is literally in your DNA. Um, your whole human existence is the story of resilience. You know, your ancestors went through droughts and famines and disease, wars, volcanoes, you name it, and they survived, they picked themselves back up, they moved on, they might have moved countries, lands, they invented new ways of being. And that's what got them through the great changes, the threats and the adversity. And it's within all of us. We are we are their children and we're just facing the challenges of today. But resilience is is it's our thing, it's what we do.

Speaker: 10:32

You know, it that just reminds me that we actually have a lot of comfort. When I hear that, I go, we've got so much that is readily available. We've got heating, we've got dishwashers, washing machines, homes. I mean, I'm sort of speaking at it from my place, and I'm aware that not everyone has those things. So there's a part of me that's like, well, not everyone, we're very lucky and we're very privileged, but we do have a level of a level of stuff that is here to make our lives easier and give us more comfort. And I do think that that part that I was talking about earlier, there's a part of us that is hardwired in that is also looking for the extreme and the excitement and the like, you know, because we can get really comfortable in what we're doing. And I'm I can certainly um I like a level of comfort, but I'm also like, I get bored. And then when I get bored, I'm like, what's happening? You know, what can I create? And then I start creating. Um, that can be the most brilliant thing, but it can also be a bit of a pain because I need to learn to offset that. So where are you with that? Because I always see you as someone who's out there doing stuff, making things happen, um, you know, high level of output, highly productive. So the idea of you holding back and connecting the dots, I'm like, we didn't know that about you. So I'm learning this. Tell me what.

Speaker 1: 11:48

Yeah, so I'm taking it in all the time. So I'm either reading or I'm watching documentaries or I'm listening to a podcast, uh, an audiobook, I'm reading news articles. So I, when we're not together, I spend an awful lot of time taking this almost like this meta view where I'm on the top of the hill and I'm I'm seeing this big view. And then I'm really attuned to my body. So because you come and generate so many ideas and you're like, what about this? What about that? Um, I have to go with my gut because I don't have time just to say, I just need to go and ponder this. Um, so I absolutely go with my gut. If it feels right, go for it. If it feels right for you, and I don't actually have the energy to go with it, I just say I trust you, you get on with it. And that works really well because you know, I don't have to be involved or excited about everything, and it's about knowing my place. But when the dots have joined in my head and I see a path and I get all the physicality of like this is the right thing to do, there is nothing stopping me. Um, I'm I'm 100% in, and there's a lot of, I guess, daily practices that I have to do to make sure that I am going down the right path because my burnout tends to come when I've ended up going a little bit few degrees off onto the wrong path. So, like I said, I have to like almost check in with myself is does this feel right? Am I getting the excitement or is it like scariness and tension? Um, and so and interestingly, around the dark moon, um, it's when the the menstrual cycles kick in in our house, and that is the time when I kind of lose it, I lose that connection because everything becomes overwhelming. I can't think straight. So, what I've learnt is don't fight it, just stop doing stuff and check out for the weekend, snuggle down, go for a walk. Um, because now I understand it. Whereas I think even 10 years ago, when I was in those dark places where I couldn't think straight, that would be when I would make bad choices. Because I a bit like you, I I'd react, but I'd react in the wrong way and it would just cause me more stress. What about you? How do you, when when you're in the chaos or you're everything feels uncertain, how do you kind of like bring yourself back to that space? Loving the conversation, make sure you follow us on your favourite podcast app. And if something resonates, share it on your socials or with a friend who really needs to hear it. We'd love to hear your stories too.

Speaker: 14:22

Find us on Instagram at say it's Sister Podcasters and at WiseWomen Lead. And let's keep the conversation going because your voice matters here. I do a lot of rituals and I also spend time in my own Akashic Records. So I that for me is the moment when everything else falls away. So I will when I'm overwhelmed, I'll generally try and continue with what I'm doing for quite a while because I'm just my nature is to create and and I can't help myself. And once I've started something, I have to finish it. It's like, you know, I am like a dog with a bone. Um so that and it can be really annoying as well. And it can be really annoying for the people around me. Like my husband's like, Well, are you still sat on that seat? Will you get up and do something? And I'm like, huh? You know, it's just, and I know I'm doing it and I'm and I'm better than I used to be. I used to be awful at it. He'd be like, he would come and bring me food and put it in front of me. I'd finish, I'd eat at my desk, I'd put it to one side, and then the next one, next thing would come in, and then he would come in. I mean, this is awful, and he would just take it all away and he'd be like, and he'd just be looking at because he's not like that. So he would watch me and go, Oh my god, this is just actually quite painful to watch. But I couldn't help it. And now I'm like not like that at all because perimenopauses meant that I can't physically do it like that. So now I go, I'll sort of persevere for a bit, and then I'll go, it's not working. Then I take myself off, I get up, I open my cashier records, and I would just stay in the space of my records, which is high-powered energy, um, the field of abundance, the field of unconditional love. And once I open up my records through there's a specific way that we do it, the energy changes. I start to receive, I start to it's it's kind of like a high energy, but it also soothes me. It's like something clicks into place. And sometimes I fall asleep, other times, but it's not like that frenetic kind of creative energy that you know and you've seen in me. It's not that, it's much more like things are happening, but it I can't even put it into words because I don't really, I don't, it's not ideas necessarily, it's just more a feeling of something that feels like I can just be here and know that something amazing's happening somehow. Um, and I just stay there and I stay there for as long as I need, and like I said, sometimes I fall asleep and sometimes I'm you know, and then I'll continue with what I'm doing, and everything feels different and it feels like a shift. So it's some people might get that through meditation or mindfulness or being out in nature. Those things work for me as well, but there's definitely a frequency to the work that just makes me go this like place of lack, of survival, of um hustle, of um force is in the world, but this other energy is also in the world, and I'm in it right now, and you I it's almost like just stop freaking out, stop panicking, stop overreacting, just be and just be here now and just know that everything is fantastic because it really is.

Speaker 1: 17:32

Oh, that's beautiful. I I have to say, once I've gone through my regulation bit of just going, ah, this is where I am, and recognising in myself, one of the and I, you know, everyone knows I'm a nature lover, so I will go out and I will do my nature, my grounding bit. But one of the first things I tend to do, and I think this might be the projector in me, is I have to go and lean into my community, and that might be an online community, it might be one of my WhatsApp groups, it might be connecting with you, having a chat with my kids. Um, but I have to then go be present with other people because I think when I go into let's say overwhelm, um, it's not burnout for me, it's just like there's too much going on. I have to go and balance that by getting out of my own head. Um, and sometimes you I just tell the people like I did this weekend that I just need some alone time. Um, but I'm already asking them in the community to support me. And I know that through conversation, which is why I love this podcast, um, through conversation, I am able to unscramble my thoughts and I don't even know what comes out of my mouth most of the time. But when I listen back or I uh once I've released it, it's gone. And then when I listen back to our podcast or replay a conversation, I'm like, oh, there's the wisdom. Um, I can only do it with safe people. Um, sometimes I I just need a nap as well. You said about going for a nap. I I like an afternoon nap now. I actually journal less when I'm in that negative mindset space when I'm depleted. It's almost like I just don't have the energy to think about what my thoughts are doing because my mind is always so busy. So I do things like I crochet, um, I go for a walk, I stretch, I move my body. But again, it's all of that coming back down to centre, just like, ah, I'm safe. So we're we're all familiar with this. We all know these techniques, but a bit like you worrying about um resting, we just don't do it. So I'm really curious, because this is how projectors are, we're just curious all the time. Can you share a time with me where a chaos led to some kind of unexpected growth in your life, especially around resilience?

Speaker: 19:48

Yeah, I'm gonna go with the motherhood. I think the first three months after having Catalina, I was like a lioness, and it was this weird thing because it was a traumatic pregnancy and a traumatic birth, and there was some like complications afterwards and all the rest of it, and but it was like everything felt like it came together for me, and I was so relieved that she was safe as well. So there was this absolute relief. She was out of my body, I could hold her. Um, I just felt like it was like a coming home moment for me, and just but I was like, I didn't care what anyone thought. I had no filters whatsoever, I wasn't screening my words, I wasn't overthinking anything because my instincts were so incredibly connected that it was like it was a moment in my life, and like I said, it lasted about three months, maybe a bit longer. I think by the time she was about six and a half months old, some of the old programming came back in, and I'm starting to get more conscious. And I had PTSD, but in that first three months, I'd I can't even describe it. And it was like, you know, I'm walking around, I've got Katalina on my breast, just no clothes on, but I had my like, you know, pajama bottoms on or whatever, walking around the house, you know, like this is like no shame, no questioning, you know, my mum and dad are walking, mum and dad are there, you know, and I was just like, This is what it is, you know what I mean? Like, hey, I'm feeding my baby. It was I can't really describe it, but I just know how it felt.

Speaker 1: 21:19

I don't think you need to, because I think for many, not all, but for many women, they've had that exact same experience, and it is it's a really sacred moment. And for me, it was when I I pushed that baby out of me. My heart, body, soul, everything was in complete alignment. And then I was just like, if I can create a whole human life, I can create anything.

Speaker: 21:45

There was that complete power. Yeah, and you know, like what was going on in the landscape of that time as well was like I was in deep recovery, I had PTSD. Um, we moved house when she was two weeks old. Um got married when she was six and a half months old. Um, the breastfeeding wasn't working because she was tongue-tied. Yeah, I was just determined. So the landscape of it was so much challenged. That's a lot of case. You know, it was absolutely crazy in a way. It was the maddest time of my life, and I've got a new baby, you know, and and I was in perimenopause. And it was like, yet, yet, despite all of that, and in spite of all of that, I came into my power. And when I ever need to remember, like when I think of resilience, I think because there was so much love there as well. So I think when we think about resilience, it can be without feeling love, and you could call it peace or connection, whatever words works for you, it doesn't matter. But if unless you've got a higher quality at work during that time, you you are in suffering. Now, I'm not saying I wasn't suffering, but the love that I felt for my daughter and the just the absolute relief of having her and holding her superseded anything that was going on in my life. And it kind of it's like that you were saying earlier in our private conversation, how you know it's the darkest just before dawn, but when that light comes out, and when the when we follow that, it eradicates everything else. So I'm not I'm not making this into like sugar coat and getting it was a really beautiful, you know. Yes, and um there was all this other stuff happening at the same time, and I'm proud of that. And I'm and I think it's the message is let's remind ourselves constantly of what's in our hearts, who we love, and the good stuff that we've got going on, because it's not never just all you know, dark night. Um, even in the sky, you know, there's the moon and the stars. We we have light around us all the time. What is it? What was it for you?

Speaker 1: 23:44

So my ultimate resilient story um was when my my two or three years of my life just literally falling apart. Um, it was the loneliest I'd ever been. Um, and it was after my divorce. So um my husband left the the marital home um after, you know, it was mutually agreed, but it was just so painful. And I'd got a child of three and another one of six, and we'd never been alone. I'd never literally been alone before because I'd gone straight from my childhood home into halls of residence, then living with friends, then living with him, getting married, then having children. So I'd never actually been alone, and that those periods when the children were in bed at seven o'clock and the house was silent, and I couldn't leave, I couldn't go anywhere, not even to go and get a pint of milk because my babies were there. And but it was also in those moments that um alliances had been drawn. So my husband had gone to stay with my very best friends, my whole social circle. Um, so alliances were made, sides taken. Um my own family, wider family, were dealing with the separation in their own way, and there was so much shame and guilt and lies and pain, and and I was the instigator of it because I was the one that said, we're done, it's enough. And so for those first few weekends when the children were going stay with their dads, um, I literally was alone. My sock drawer and my wardrobes have never been so organized because I had to get busy doing stuff. Um, and yeah, I was utterly alone, and but I started healing, and over the next two or three years, I sold the house, um, I quit my job, I did coaching course. Um, I eventually found a new relationship which was there to teach me something else, and that ended. And each thing that happened, even at my most raw state, everything that happened took me one step closer to the thing that I was the path I was supposed to be on. And so it took took every bit of strength, every bit of courage, every bit of overcoming my own self-doubt, many, many small actions that created this massive change. And so for me, that's my resilience story. And it was like that bouncy ball, just constantly bounce back up again. Wake up every morning, the kids need me to do this, I need to organize that, and just living in the moment, and yeah, looking back three, five, ten years later, wow, I did that.

Speaker: 26:32

Amazing. Wow, I really feel that for you because I know what the nights are like, you know, when you've got children, it's also a time when we have higher anxiety anyway, and just naturally by default, the day is over, you kind of come to the end, you know. We've we've done a whole day, we've things have happened, and then you're trying to unwind to go to bed, and anxiety tends to pop up because there's more space as well. So I really feel that for you because I know what I was like in when she was little and how high my anxiety was in the evenings. And then for you to sort of go through all of that on top of it, it's just a lot.

Speaker 1: 27:07

Um, I'm here and I've survived, and that's so it's a story of hope, really, that even in your darkest times, you will bounce back, it will take you on another path. Um, and so yeah, if anybody is going through any of that feeling utterly alone, just know that you know this soon shall pass. And I think that's the message I want to give, and that is resilience because every day you make it through that day, you've done it, you've picked yourself up and you've got through the day. It's a really important message.

Speaker: 27:38

Yeah, what practical steps from a very, very practical sort for a woman who is not where you are right now and hasn't isn't is in the middle of the storm, how can she rebuild rebuild her inner strength?

Speaker 1: 27:51

Okay, so um I spent a lot of time looking for positivity. So for a bit of a period, I would watch sad movies and the rom-coms that would help me release and cry. But once I've got through that period, which was absolutely necessary, um, then it was actually about going and finding fun stuff or new communities or trying a new hobby. And so start bit by bit pushing yourself out there and not trying to replicate old self, old life, but doing something completely new. So I would, yeah, um, watch movies that would make me laugh uh or take me on a journey. I would read books that yeah, would have travel or some yeah, some brilliant ending in it. Um, Eat Pray Love was an amazing film that got me through those dark days because again, it was about hope and finding a new way. Um, I also found new friends, so I actually joined the PTA just so it was a group of people who didn't know my past, and um, and I've made some friends. I eventually joined Scouts, and that was my hobby. It was like new me. I I joined, I started learning stuff, um, and that's when I got into coaching. So I would just say let yourself grieve, let yourself, you know, feel all the feels because that's important. But then bit by bit, just small steps, push yourself out there, learn, listen, follow the light, the laughter, and then before you know it, you've realized a year's past and you're in a completely different space.

Speaker: 29:25

Absolutely, yeah, beautiful. Thank you. I would add to that get help, you know, get a support system, whatever it looks like for you, and talk it through and just keep talking until you know you don't want to speak anymore. Perhaps you don't want to speak initially, and that's good too. But find a way to communicate what you're feeling um in the right way. And what I did uh probably uh it was during COVID actually, what I did is I started to cultivate joy because I was a bit like, where's my joy gone?

unknown: 29:59

It

Speaker: 30:00

Everything became very serious for a while. And I actually quite enjoyed the isolation of COVID. So for me, it came at the perfect time because I got to isolate and I got to do deep healing. And I was really happy to not be seeing lots of people. So that worked really, really well for me. But I did realise that I was like, I had joy with Catalina and I would laugh in the day. But then when she wasn't around, I was like feeling a bit empty, like a bit starved. So I did a joy hunting mission that lasted quite a long time. And it was beautiful because it came in different forms. It was like the ham sandwich that my husband made me. It was watching my daughter and my husband in the garden, like doing something with leaves or whatever. You know, like for me, it was more about receiving and taking a step back, observing what was going on around me, not necessarily being so deeply in it. Because when I'm deeply in, sometimes I'm not actually connected. I'm just doing the do. And it, you know, stripping doors for the house. It was all sorts of things. And every week I was like cultivating different things, but it snuck up on me in the moments. Actually, the real joy was that sandwich, or just watching them do something and not being involved and just going like, that's beautiful. So that's where yeah, that would they, those were the moments that I think I'll remember all my life.

Speaker 1: 31:18

Um, so we're thinking like yeah, I was gonna say, um, uh the practice of gratitude and then turning that into abundance is probably the one thing that will will get all of us out of um a dark spot because that's the the whole act of resilience of trying to move yourself forward. Well, that's a an act of posity, it's a an act of gratitude and an act of abundance. So it's a really great place to start of just writing it down or just being in the moment, which is I do it when I'm in nature. Um, and but yeah, every time you hear a laugh or a bird sing or that sandwich and it tastes so good, good coffee for me makes me feel so grateful. And yeah, it's switching your your mindset, your heart and body, the whole thing into noticing the joy, the the hope, the opportunity, because it is everywhere. Yeah, and in a crisis, just look for the helpers as well, because they are everywhere. Absolutely.

Speaker: 32:20

And it's those moments that are the precious ones when we actually stop and just be in the moment and appreciate what's right in front of us, you know, as opposed to sort of striving for something that's further out there that's in the future. Not to say that you can't have those things, like I would, you know, we we do bring in a lot through our energy, but actually, what's here right now in this moment, as we know as coaches, it's like, you know, when you take people into that, and what's here now? And you know, what do you really want now? And people just go, uh, oh, you know, and and then the space starts to get much deeper and much richer, and um yeah, never losing sight of that because that's where it's happening ultimately.

Speaker 1: 32:59

And the thing is, it happens within each of us in any moment, but when we start thinking about the bigger collective and how we can create almost like more positive outlook in a world that feels so awful and dark, um that aspect of if each one of us is a vessel and we're navigating this world and just projecting positive energy, it's it's so contagious. And I wanted to just share with our uh listeners about an experiment that happened first in 1983, but it's been replicated many, many times since then. But it's called the Maharishi effect. So I want you to go Google it, go and read up on it because it is fascinating. But over three weeks in Washington, DC, a large group of people would meditate together or at the same time, and the meditation was just on world peace and whatever came up for them. And the fascinating piece about this is that there was during that three-week period, there was a 2% drop in violent crime, and it was like the largest drop the city had ever seen. Um, and it was specifically during that period, and it has been replicated time and time and time again. And so the other interesting facts that have come out through these experiments is that they've been able to almost like test the frequency. So just imagine that we are all like these bundles of energy, good and bad, or negative and positive, but the positive radiates out even further. And it is said that positive radiant energy can expand out of us up to 12 metres. I mean, that is huge, and we all know this is true because we've all walked into a room when there's something awesome, even a wedding, you know, or things like that, when you it just feels amazing. You walk in and it's contagious, it's buzzing. So we know this is true. So if at all times we just want to be the change we see in the world or to give somebody else hope when they're feeling hopeless, be that really grounded, centered, amazing, hopeful, gratitude, abundant mindset energy, and just let the ripples go. And I truly believe that this will collectively cultivate some resilience in us.

Speaker: 35:27

And it's actually been studied. So there is an organization called heartmath.org, who my old therapist Jane talks about a lot. And basically, whatever we have in our heart, however, our heart is responding to life, to the day, to the moment, we produce waves, so heart waves and also brain waves as well, you know. And if we are stressed, then that that frequency that comes out of us to six feet around us in a big bubble, we're like walking bubbles, really, you know, our aura, it's been called, but the space around us, people can feel that. So that energy is replicated, but heart math have studied it and they actually have the stats that shows that a regulated heart if evokes peace, safety, and all the rest of it. And they also have studies where people are meditating and you know, regulating themselves, and they're all linked up to monitors and um what's happening in the rooms and that kind of thing. So this isn't woo, this is actually science. It's studied. There are facts and figures that back it up. So the way that we are holding ourselves in each and every single moment, the people around us can feel it. And as leaders, I always go back to it. I'm like, if you're a leader, a manager, a mother, a father, you have a responsibility to regulate your own self so that that energy of regulation and harmony and peace is in the space for people around, because otherwise you're just adding to the chaos, you're adding to the anger, you're adding to the stress of people around. You owe it to yourself, but you owe it to others as well. So that I always go back to that because that piece for me, if I am dysregulated, which I often am, I have to go and take care of myself and I make sure that I do that as a regular ongoing practice every single day. Um especially now that I know the impact of it, makes it even more of a big thing for me. Um, the other thing I wanted to say is I wore some Maharishi trousers this weekend. Yesterday, which, you know, as you said, the word Maharishi, I was like, oh, I've got those trousers, you know, like the fashion person in me. And I had those trousers when I was 25 and I took them around the world and I bought them, and they've got all this beautiful like design, like embroidery at the back, like a dragon, and they're khaki green. And because the 90s is back, I put them on yesterday, and Rich was like, Oh my god, they still fit. And I was like, they're not quite as baggy as they were, they're like cargo pants, but I can still wear them and they fit and they don't look ridiculous. So I'm I'm taking it as a win.

Speaker 1: 37:56

Well, do you know what? Both of us had the Maharishi coming to our vibe this weekend. So there's something in it, isn't there? That something needed to be raised. And um, I just want to, before we close off, I just wanted to just say that um every time you consciously notice your energy, then please make a discerned and wise choice about how you're going to do it or use it. Because if you've had a really rubbish call or meeting or day and you enter the room with your family and you bring that energy in, just notice how quickly an argument or some pushback starts to evolve. But equally, the on the other side, um, if you can switch your energy, just sit in the car for a moment or just hold back before you enter the room and just have an inner conversation with yourself, just to change the energy and just notice what happens. Please be your own experiment, and I guarantee you, your energy will absolutely influence every relationship in your life. But over to you, Karen, just to close this brilliant conversation.

Speaker: 39:03

So invite you to remember this resilience isn't about pushing through at any cost, it's about listening deeply to yourself, acknowledging your truth, and allowing that truth to shape how you rise. In times of chaos, our wisdom, our empathy, and our hearts are needed. They are powerful guides. When we dare to face what is real, we unlock the strength and the clarity we need to lead, to heal and to thrive. When we work with truth and emotion, we do need more space to process. And then we can come out of the inner cave and get ready for what's next because the world is waiting. Until next time, keep saying it, sister.

Speaker 1: 39:43

That's it for this episode of Say It Sister. If it moved you, made you think, or made you even feel seen, hit follow, share it with a sister, and leave us a review.

Speaker: 39:53

And remember, your voice is power and your essence is wisdom. So speak your truth and live a true and empowered life. Until next time, say it, sister.